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If I catch you fighting again, Kiddo, you'll stay behind after school every day this week!

At this school we expect children to be kind to each other.

Now get off home before you get into any more trouble!

School is no fun.

You're not allowed to kill anyone.

You're not allowed to use weapons.

You're not allowed to fight.

Instead you have to be nice to everyone all the time.

I think I'll run away and join the army.

Hey, look at the sign on that door.


Perhaps it IS my lucky day after all.

I'll go inside and join up now.

I'd better go home, though. My mum will be waiting for me.

"I've come to join the army."

"No way, sonny. You're much too young. Come back in ten years time. Now run off home. I've got work to do."

It says join the army, so that's what I'm doing. I'm not leaving until you let me join.

I'm very sorry to have troubled you, Sir. I'll see you in ten years time.

"You're starting to annoy me. Get out now, do you hear me, or else..."

Or else what? You don't scare me, big guy!

OK I'll go, but you shouldn't shout at me. My teacher says you should be kind to other people.

"Or else... Or else... Or else I'll beat you up!"

You'll beat me up, will you? You and whose army?

I get the message. I really don't want you to beat me up. Goodbye.

You and whose army? I suppose you think you're funny.

I've heard enough nonsense from you!

Have this boy arrested!

"What's happening? Why have you arrested me? I only wanted to join the army"

"Congratulations, Kiddo! You've passed the interview."

"Interview? What interview?"

"That guy back there you just met. He's there to find out if you're tough and brave enough to join the army. Most kids are scared of people who are bigger and stronger than they are. But not you."

"What we're about to tell you is TOP SECRET. It's very important that you tell nobody about this. Especially not any grownups.

"The earth is about to be invaded by aliens from the planet Caissa. The Caissans are the cruellest and most violent creatures in the universe. They are also the most intelligent creatures in the universe. When they invade, there will be a big battle, and we want the toughest, bravest and smartest kids in the world to join the army and learn how to fight them."

"The battle will be fought using the rules of Intergalactic Warfare. This means that the two armies take it in turns to move, so there's no advantage in being big and strong. You just need to be tough, brave and smart."

OK, I'm up for it. When can I start my training?

I think it's going to be too hard for me. Can I go now?

Your training will start next week. But first you have to sign this form.

I promise to attend army training after school one day a week until the completion of the course.

I understand that my teachers will be nasty, horrid, mean, cruel and violent towards me at all times.

I understand that I will be using lethal weapons and other dangerous equipment. Failure to obey instructions on their correct usage may lead to serious injury or even death.

I understand that this training is TOP SECRET. I promise never to tell any grownups about the alien invasion.

I agree

I don't agree

"Do you have any more questions before you go?"

"Yes. What should I tell my mum when I get home late from school?"

"You'll just have to think up some excuse. I know. Tell them you've joined the school chess club."

"You're home late from school again, kiddo. Another detention?

"Not this time, Mum. I've joined the school chess club. It is OK, isn't it? Please say yes."

"Chess. A nice quiet game. It will make a change from all those violent video games you like. I think your Dad's got a chess set somewhere in the attic. I'm sure he'll give you a game when he gets home from work."

You are now ready to start your training.

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